The Adventurer's Guide to Discworld MUD

The Pool of Pishe

When you arrive in the Disc, the creators generously bestow upon you the gift of seven plus one lives, so you can fearlessly rummage through every available environment, including the Land of Shadow... and still come back to write about it in your version of What I Did On My Holidays.

And before long, you'll realise that four plus four lives is nowhere near enough to allow someone to truly enjoy the Disc to the full.

So, you'll be pleased to know that you can buy some more. Ah yes, in a city like Ankh-Morpork, there really is nothing you cannot buy!

Apothecary Gardens

To purchase extra lifetimes, proceed directly to Apothecary Gardens in Salis Street, within which may be found the Temple of Pishe, better known as Pishe Gardens.

Apothecary Gardens is quite a distance from the Mended Drum, so meaningful directions are difficult to provide. I therefore recommend you investigate the brilliance of Shamrock's Discworld Streetfinder:

Alternatively, you could try out this speedwalk, correct at the time of writing.

Start directly outside the Mended Drum, lit on dark nights by a creaky lantern.

Enter this command to create the alias pg:

alias pg w;w;w;w;n;n;n;n;n;n;n;ne;ne;n;n;ne;n;ne;n;nw;w;nw;nw;n;nw;nw;n;w;w;nw;w

Then, to speedwalk from the Mended Drum to the entrance of Pishe Gardens, simply type pg and relax until you arrive here:

This is a small gravel path winding through Apothecary Gardens.  The path's orange gravel is a marked contrast to the lush green grass around it, allowing for easy navigation.  A beautiful golden arch stands over the entrance to the Pishe Gardens.  A nice open grass area spreads out to the north, south, northeast and southeast, there is a gravel path to the east, southwest and northwest and to the west are the Pishe Gardens.
There are four obvious exits: west, east, southwest and northwest.
A sign is on the top of the arch.

Pishe Gardens

The sign over the door to the west is most helpful:
r sign
You read the sign:
     P I S H E    G A R D E N S

An entrance fee is charged to fund 
maintenance of the temple and garden

The fee charged depends on your 
proficiency in your trade
No charge for ghosts, Pishites,
or adventurers
How nice: we adventurers are exempt from the entry fee1. Let us explore forthwith.

West takes you into Pishe Gardens. Here we are met by Tore Kare, a nervous exile of Krull who has inexplicably chosen to spend his time in a deckchair next to a number of pools and streams. Ah well, to each his own.

As a hydrophobe, Mr Kare is particularly skilled at the arts of making water disappear. So, if for some reason you've managed to get wet, ask him nicely and he will be happy to take 30p of your money in exchange for drying you out. Well, it's more fun than using a towel, isn't it?

Moving on...

No signs or clues as to how one purchases more lives. Hmmm. Maybe help here would be of use at this point?

Ah yes: and a bit of patient scrolling gives us this:

Buying Lives
     Lives can now be purchased in the natural rock pool northwest of 
     the main entrance to the Pishe Gardens.  To see how to do this, 
     use 'syntax toss' while in the room.  Lives are slightly cheaper 
     for priests of Pishe.
     Note that you need to be at full strength to buy lives.  There is 
     a means, somewhere in the garden, to restore yourself to your full
Excellent! Let us depart northwest, as fast as our toes can take us, and do syntax toss with all speed and haste!
A deep pool has been created here by a waterfall cascading over the surrounding rocks.  The waterfall forms a shimmering curtain over the middle of the pool, with the south half of the pool exposed to Pishe's showers, while the northern half is covered by the rocks that the water pours over before splashing into the pool.  Tall leafy trees grow around and between the rocks, seeming to bend inwards to block out the rest of the world.  Smooth stone steps cut into the rock lead to a curtain of vines separating this pool from the rest of the gardens.
There is one obvious exit: southeast.
A water lantern is dangling from a branch of the willow.
You close the curtain of vines.
syntax toss
Forms of syntax available for the command 'toss':
toss a royal into [object] 
toss [number] {royal|royals} into [object] 

How Much?!

Ah. And now we come to the crux of the matter; namely, the cost of lives.

Various research suggests that exactly how much your new lives will cost you depends on a variety of factors. These may include:

However, there doesn't appear to be a standard price. Clearly we're looking at anything over one Royal per life; minimum price: one Royal.

So, did you bring any large denomination monies with you? No? Me neither. Bugger.

Much pleading with bank managers later...

In the absence of a price list, you simply continue to toss a royal into pool until you get an extra life, like so:
> toss a royal into pool
Pishe smiles on you.  But you realise that one royal is not that much of a gift.
You toss one Ankh-Morpork royal into the pool at Pishe's feet.
On average, my various characters spend three or four Royals on each life. Don't worry if you haven't brought enough Royals with you; those you have paid already are held on account until you can bring some more.

The successful acquisition of a new life is indicated thusly:

> toss a royal into pool
You feel like you have more life.
Pishe smiles on you and lifts the clouds from your heart, but the moment has been draining.  Some rest will probably help.
You toss one Ankh-Morpork royal into the pool at Pishe's feet.
Excellent! But in addition to the exorbitant monies demanded by Pishe, a terrible cost has been exacted...
> score stats
Constitution ... 6 (-7) Strength ....... 13  Weight ......... 77.7kg
Dexterity ...... 13     Wisdom ......... 13       
Intelligence ... 13     Height ......... 175 cm   

Life: +1; Constitution: -7

Every time you gain a life, your Constitution suffers badly. In Severus's case, it dropped from 13 to 6!

The essential advice after buying each life is therefore:

Get a Restore before buying another life, or you'll die.

You may remember the room help earlier mentioned that, somewhere in Pishe Gardens is a means to restore your broken Constitution. Severus and I are pleased to save you much pointless splashing around in search of it by directing you up from the room in which Tore Kare resides.

This simple wooden platform serves as one of the storeys in the treehouse.  A wooden slide extends from it and wraps around the tree below.  Strangely, a grey rain cloud hovers above the start of the slide and a rather mundane sign hangs from a twig next to it.  A pile of pillows, in various shades of blue, cover the floor and a bulletin board hangs from one of the branches.  A hole in the floor allows access to the tree below.
> r sign
You read the sign:
Slide of restoration - please pay your respects to Pishe.
All very promising. Although the part about paying respects to Pishe is a bit vague... how does one do that? Perhaps you just leap on the slide and the process takes care of itself?
See "syntax slide" for the input patterns.
Forms of syntax available for the command 'slide':
slide down [water] slide 
You run up and leap onto the slide, realising too late that there is 
no water on it! You painfully make your way down, exposed skin being 
scraped cruely by the dry wood. Finally you reach the end of your 
journey and fall into the pool with a splash.
Ouch! That cost us 200 HP. Obviously there's something one must do specifically...?
> l slide
A water slide starts here and spirals down to one of the pools below.  A rain cloud hovers above the start - it must provide the water in some way.
Hmmm. I suppose the following syntax was too obvious for those of us of an impatient type, wasn't it?

pay respects to pishe

You place some coins in the rain cloud above the slide.  The cloud darkens slightly, as though heavy with rain.
Heavy raindrops start to fall from the cloud and pour down the slide.
Aha! Let's try again!
slide down water slide
You leap onto the slide and try to slide down it while standing up.
Suddenly you lose your balance and topple over the side, into the pool below.


Needless to say, our Constitution had remained broken. And we were deeply unimpressed, after trying the process twice, to discover that the cost of paying one's respects to Pishe was... twenty dollars!

When all else fails...

As previously mentioned, Pishites are a generous lot, and Severus was able to find a kind person to perform restore on him and return to him his full Constitution2.

My advice then, would be to ask a Pishite to restore you after each purchase of a new life. But never attempt to buy more than one life at a time without a restore after each successful transaction.

Of course, you may have more luck than did Severus with the Slide of Restoration...

And Thus The Circle Closes

Inexperienced as I am in the ways of the Disc, it is entirely possible I've missed something germane in this section. If so, then, as ever, I gladly invite you to Contact Me with constructive criticism.

And so I shall leave you with some oblique advice from Yvain:

"Go to Agatea. Find the chicken. Experiment."

... before moving onto your only remaining option, should this disastrous message ever appear on your screen:
You have died your final death.  Your name will be inscribed in the Hall of Legends.

NEXT: Refresh
BACK: Resurrection

  1. For everyone else, the fee appears to be one penny per level.
  2. Thanks a lot, Deluge & Inocuous!